What Will Make a Happy Relationship Advice For You

Is your relationship not as happy as you want it to be? Maybe that is because you are not showing love to your partner in the way that he or she likes. It doesn’t matter if you say “I love you” a thousand times if your partner needs your attention to feel special. Your partner won´t be happy if you come with flowers if what he really wants is a hug. The best relationship advice is to listen to the person you love and do what makes them happy.

couple dating relationship advice

If you ask your partner ‘What would make you feel loved?’ you will get a happier relationship.

My client Jessica called me, totally frustrated. “I’ve done everything for him, but he is still complaining, calling me selfish.” I asked her what she had done to show him that she loved him and she replied: “I always put little notes in his wallet that will surprise him during the day”. And she continued in an angry voice: “He never does the same for me. All he does is to ask me if I want a ride to work or mall, and then he’s mad at me for using him as a driver” when I’m not grateful enough.

Most conflicts in relationships or in dating occur from miscommunication. We interpret each other's behavior out of how we ourselves would react or act.

A golden rule of love is to be humble and kind if you want it to work long term, after the initial infatuated crazy stage where everything you do is fantastic. Be receptive to your partners’ needs and unique way of being, depending on personality, emotional baggage or childhood culture.

Dr. Gary Chapman, an American marriage counselor, brings in his book “The five love languages” out the theory that there are five ways of showing love and that every one of us has a preferred way. If our partner talks to us in our “language” we feel loved. The five languages are:

1. Words of affirmation: Compliments, notes, nice words and verbal encouragement in front of others are important. The ones who speak this language are very sensitive to negative critique and will show their dissatisfaction by nagging or using sharp words.

2. Quality time: For a person who speaks this language it is important to get attention and eye to eye contact. They need a partner to spend time or energy with them. If their spouse just sits in front of the TV they will feel miserable. They need to be seen and talked to, without distraction.

3. Receiving gifts: If you are with a partner who loves gifts you will constantly get surprises, flowers or a new shirt. This is how they show love and what to be loved. They feel seen and appreciated when they give. If they are unhappy they will withdraw their gifts, as a way of “punishing”.

4. Acts of service: Some people find pleasure in doing things for others. They offer to drive you places or they take care of the cat when you are overseas. These people really appreciate when you take out the garbage and if you don’t do it they don’t think you love them.

5. Physical touch: If your partner talks this language he will kiss and hug you a lot and feel that sex is much more than an orgasm. He will be deeply hurt if you don’t have time to have sex with him.

Perhaps there are more languages. Perhaps as many as the types of coffees offered at Starbucks. Perhaps millions. We are all unique and complex human beings, so relationship advice must be given on your unique level. The value of creating just a few boxes to put people in is mainly to raise awareness about that we are different, and not the same.

Accept that you are not the center of the world. Just like you have different clothing styles or like seafood better than meat, we are all special. Love your partner in the right language, he or she will be happy and want to love you back. Love is contagious.topics to talk about in a happy relationship.
Sharing is caring